The Spouse as Caregiver

Here is a story I wrote in April in honor of my beloved Ron, my spouse caregiver who has held me to earth throughout my journey with anal cancer. It was published today.

There Are Words in Me Still

Creative Souls Meeting: December 13, 2019 The Friday Before Treatment Begins So good to listen to my friends and their struggles. Mine become consuming. That medical treatment vortex is pulling me in deeper as I wade through the to-do list and the treatment protocols, getting ready for the full-time job of patient and being patient … Read more

Waiting for Results

Cancer Diary 11/30/19 “The not knowing is the worst part.” No. It’s not. Not knowing is a Before. When everything is still as it was. An ordinary arrangement of days when petty lows—a chipped cup—come wrapped in renewal: the sunshiny breakfast. Before highlights the present where I can feel my integrity, my wellness, my forward … Read more

When Did My Butt Become Public?

Cancer Diary 11/25/19 When did my butt become public property? The very sphincter that controls what comes out. The one they are trying to save. It began the moment the doctor’s words, “Squamous cell carcinoma,” ripped the “Before” away from the “After.” I was left in a place between the two. The fragments of the … Read more